I am very fatigued. I am not sleeping well and am suffering from major hot flashes at night. I’m waking in the middle of the night bathed in sweat. My scars have also begun to send out intense shooting pains – in the evenings and at night. I’m hoping this is because of the stretching exercises I have been doing but I can’t be sure. I have tried to stop most of the major pain medications I have been on for the last 5-6 months but think I may need to add something to help me sleep. 

My mood is flat, not depressed, just flat. I wonder, is it the Letrozole? The nurses said there would be a settling in period of about 6 weeks so I will see how I go. It’s hard to get motivated and get myself going. I feel nothing.

I decide to do something to get myself out of my funk. I go on a house cleaning mission – it’s long overdue, but I haven’t been able to motivate myself for awhile. Next I juice some oranges and apples and then I use some of the pulp to create a cake. I use my favourite carrot and pineapple cake recipe, subbing out the carrot and pineapple with the fruit pulp and changing the spices to green cardamom and ground ginger. I top it with a juice and icing sugar glaze. It’s delicious! 

I’m exhausted at the end of it all but I do feel better. Recently I finished reading Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hanson. Tm recommended this book when we had our fireside chat back in June and I read about half of it before chemo brain made it too difficult. Even now, after finishing it I think I could dive back in at another time. 

One thing the book talks about is changing one’s mindset by changing one’s actions – it’s described it as pulling weeds and planting flowers. I like that.