This morning I have my final counselling session with Lr. We talk about life after cancer, focussing on values. As opposed to goals, or aims to be achieved and checked off, values are more like a moral compass, or things to live by. From a list of 100 or so words I am asked to pick 15 that resonate with me. I then cut that down to 10, and then 6. I do this fairly quickly and intuitively and try not to overthink it.  When I look at the resulting 6 values I can see that I have changed. While my initial 15 words would have been similarly chosen pre-cancer, my final 6 show different priorities than before. 

My words are compassion, creativity, peace, self-respect, spirituality, truth, and well-being.

Some of these values I think I have already started to add into my daily life patterns, but others need work. It is a great way to think about my life after treatments are done and dusted and how I want to define it.

I feel that I’m in a much better place than when I first met Lr at the end of June. What a shit hot mess I was! Thank you Lr for helping me to navigate this far through the mental chaos that is cancer.

After counselling I have Art Therapy. This week we do the 5th stage of the Te Whare Tapa Whā project – Taha Whenua, or roots. This is the expression of connection to the place where we belong. I paint a forest scene with watercolours. I am walking through a Kauri forest. The light streams though the trees and dapples the forest floor. I am by myself but I am not alone. I feel at peace with my surroundings.  

I’m very new at watercolours so there’s definitely lots of learning going on as I create, but overall I’m happy with the result. 

In the afternoon I go outside and plant some vegetable seedlings and some flowers. It’s great to use my hands and tend to the garden. My body, particularly my left side, is very weak which I find frustrating, but I’ve had a good day.