Today we go for a second opinion with Dr Kt at her private clinic. It’s $400 but I need to ask some more questions and explore options for my peace of mind. Dr Kt is lovely, very helpful and not pushing me in any one direction. She examines my breast and says that if she were to do surgery now, Betty would be borderline too big for her to be able to close the wound. This freaks me out a bit but I now understand why the Team wants to do Neo-Adjuvant Therapy. They want to shrink Betty before removing her so they don’t have to take as much tissue away from my breast area. After discussion we decide that I’m in the right place for now in the public system and that as my tests and procedures have all been booked so quickly I would not really benefit from going private. Dr Kt also works in the public system and knows Dr Sk and they have already discussed my case in peer review which is reassuring.

We leave a bit more comfortable with the current plan.

On the way home I say that I’m glad I have tomorrow off from hospital visits so I can try to relax before chemo. It has been an intense few weeks. Just then I get a call from North Shore Hospital booking me in for the EBUS Bronchoscope biopsy procedure for tomorrow. This indicates to me that the PET-CT scan has shown some avid or lit up nodes, a sign of disease. I am not surprised and also not too upset. I think the numbness is my protection. So much for a day of rest.

I get a ton of other medical calls throughout the day – the Breast Cancer Society, Dr Y, Dr Sk. Dr Y has been stalking my records and is first to see my PET-CT scan results. She explains them to me as best she can. It’s not great news, but it’s also not completely awful news – avid nodes have been identified but are not confirmed as cancerous yet. Keep praying, she says.

When Dr Sk calls she goes over the results in more detail and answers my questions. We also talk about my visit to Dr Kt. I was worried about stepping on her toes by seeking a second opinion but it’s a good conversation. It seems that many of the Specialists work across both the Public and Private sectors and it is not uncommon for a patient to move fluidly between the two. I tell Dr Sk I am booked for the EBUS tomorrow and she is pleased. She mentions the small possibility of the nodes being affected by Sarcoidosis, a non-cancerous inflammatory condition, although she does think this is unlikely. This would be a million times better than cancer but I can’t allow hope. I don’t think I could handle the disappointment.

I also talk to Nc (head of my department at ANZ) and ask for another week off. She is awesome and asks what can we do to support you? I’m extremely grateful to work for a company that takes care of its people and they have done that for me last year with my back issues and seem to be supportive again now. Work needs to be one less stress in my crazy cancer life.