Today is the big reveal. I post openly on Facebook about my diagnosis. I try to end lightheartedly with a Bette Davis misquote Fasten your seatbelts it’s going to be a lumpy ride! but it’s a hard post to write and I feel vulnerable. Now everyone knows. I get a ton of supportive comments and a few private messages. I feel loved.

In the afternoon we go to see Shakespeare’s King Lear at the ASB Waterfront Theatre. It’s a matinee so won’t be a late night – we have also planned to get takeaway at one of our favourite restaurants, Soho, at Smales Farm. I’m really looking forward to it – I can’t remember the last time we did something special together. When we lived in Vancouver we went to Bard on the Beach every year and absolutely loved it. We went to Bard on our final night in Canada 4 years ago so it is great to revisit one of our favourite things to do.

We wear masks to the Theatre. I am surprised to see that apart from one other couple, no one else in the audience is wearing a mask. This makes me very uncomfortable as with chemo my immunity is low and I need to ensure that I don’t get sick. We booked back row seats but there is an empty row behind us that was not open for sale so we scoot one row back and gain some breathing space. 

The play is excellent and we have a great evening. King Lear is one of my favourite plays with its themes or loyalty, betrayal, and mortality. Very human.

In Lear, the character Gloucester says; As flies to wanton boys are we to th’ gods, They kill us for their sport. This line epitomises my recent realisation of my own mortality and the lack of control over my destiny. 

I am still struggling.

Haiku 6:

I lose all control.
It manipulates my life,
Pulls my puppet strings