The red wine last night at least helped me sleep. I wake and just for a second I have forgotten. Then it all comes back. I log in to my computer and try to work, to complete my current customers’ applications. I manage one but give up on the second. I’m too distracted and can’t focus.

I update my Team Leader Mk on the latest shitty news. Fuck, he says, quite appropriately. We agree that I will take Annual Leave for the next two weeks and play it by ear after that. This will at least give me some time to get my head around the fact that I might be dying.

It feels so weird to say it. It still doesn’t feel real. Aside from Big Betty mutating on speed, I don’t have any symptoms at all. I feel like I’m in someone else’s nightmare. 

WAKE UP!