Category: May 2023
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Wednesday, 31 May 2023
Susannah wakes early and freaks out. This constant stress is just too much. She is now panicking about potentially having Breast Cancer herself. We have to wait until this afternoon to find out. It’s going to be a long day. I have an appointment in person with Dr Y at 11am to get documents for…
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Tuesday, 30 May 2023
Today is Portacath Day. I’m not entirely sure what is involved, but as I understand it I am to have a small device implanted under the skin in my chest that will provide permanent access to one of my veins. This will be used for chemotherapy instead of having to have a line inserted in…
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Monday, 29 May 2023
I wake and Susannah has gone to another room to write – we are both journalling now. I miss her. The bed feels empty and so do I. I stay in bed a long time, trying not to think. I call the hospital to check if my Wednesday Breast Clip procedure will still go ahead…
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Sunday, 28 May 2023
I am not coping today. I cry and I cry and I cry. Feelings of sadness and utter despair pervade everything, everywhere. Mum comes downstairs and I lose it. She tries to hug me but that only makes it worse so I push her away. I can’t handle touch. I am unravelling. In the evening…
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Saturday, 27 May 2023
We’ve made it through the week to another weekend. I open my eyes to find Susannah lying next to me sobbing quietly. The mornings are difficult for her as she wakes earlier than me and is then presented with more thinking time. I don’t find the mornings too bad – Betty doesn’t hurt too much…