I am not coping today. I cry and I cry and I cry. Feelings of sadness and utter despair pervade everything, everywhere. Mum comes downstairs and I lose it. She tries to hug me but that only makes it worse so I push her away. I can’t handle touch.

I am unravelling.

In the evening I drink red wine and text old friends with the news. They are shocked. They are supportive. It feels good to let some people know but I can only text, can’t talk yet. As the evening progresses the wine makes me cynical and angry. But finally I sleep.