My first full day at home. I still haven’t slept properly so am really tired. I can no longer remember a time when I wasn’t tired. These days it’s just to what degree? I think I’ll zopiclone it tonight. Susannah props me up in bed and we have coffee together. I pop my pills and press my front pain pump, only to find it is empty. Damn. Today will be interesting in terms of pain management without the local anaesthetic.
Susannah goes to work and I linger in bed. Linger. I don’t know what other word to use really. It is a little uncomfortable sitting here, but it’s such a struggle to get in and out of bed. I don’t really have anything I have to do, or even can do, so why get up? I invite Mum by text for a coffee so she BYOs from upstairs, props herself on the edge of the bed and chats. I let her chat on and can tell that she is happy to see me home. After she leaves I linger some more until finally the urge to pee forces me to get up. I decide to stay in my PJs today. PJs, bathrobe, a beanie and compression socks. Cancer loungewear. The robe pockets hold my friends quite well.
The District Nurse, Chs, comes late morning. It turns out she used to work with Mum years ago. Little old NZ, never fails to amaze with the 6 degrees of separation. Chs removes my empty back Pain Buster by cutting 3 tiny stitches and gently pulling the tube out. As sad as it is to lose the constant flow of pain killer into my back, the deletion of another one of my friends should make moving around a bit easier. She also changes my drainage bottle which is nearly full at 600ml. She notices there is something stuck in the bung joining two tubes. It turns out to be a piece of fat, or flesh, or fatty flesh. She shakes the tube and tries to move it on. The piece is shaped like a tiny embryo so I call it Mini-me. Chs shows us how to milk the stretchy upper tube to create a suction effect to pull Mini-me into the next tube. It’s all grossly fascinating.
My wounds begin to state their presence. I get these shooting pains at random along the cut lines. Not fun, not pleasant, but as I know from my previous back surgeries, they are part of the healing process. Several little Mini-me appear throughout the day and we milk the tubes to stop any blockages. My back becomes very sensitive and hurts if even a small wrinkle of fabric touches it. I am the Princess in the Princess and the Pea story – I feel everything.
We watch the Australia v England semi-final soccer game and call it a night. I take my nightly cocktail of medications, including zopiclone and go to bed.
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